Finding compassion and courage in anti-racism work

The Good Ally by Nova Reid

Thanks to Selina Barker who introduced me to the work of fellow Brit Nova Reid.

I include here below her TEDx talk, so you can quickly access her message. It took Nova courage to deliver that talk to a mainly white audience in Germany. But it took her more courage to write her first letter ‘Dear White People’.

Nova has a background in mental health and media but came to her anti-racism work when she did not see any Black women in bridal magazines.

Here I want to share a little about her book the Good Ally which I recently listened to. I so often appreciate the audible version of books as you can hear the passion and emotion that activist authors bring. In particular, the crack in her voice when she read in the epilogue her letter Dear White People.

I particularly liked her book because it taught me a lot about British history that I did not know. She shared harrowing stories of Black women being traumatized across history.

This history lesson was the start of Nova’s ability to pre-empt almost every thought I had and provide a supportive but strong counter-argument. Throughout, she was able to predict what I might be thinking and challenge it. 

First she would ask how does it make you feel. Then she would show compassion for the fear and shame that would arise. Then she would guide you to work through those feelings so that you didn’t fall into an unhelpful shame spiral but instead could de-center yourself and get back to the work she was guiding us through. Her self-compassion, that she models out loud, her compassion for the listener, and her guidance to have self-compassion accompanied this journey through her message.

I particularly liked her ability to provide examples of media bias and ask questions to engage the listener in thinking through the headlines. She talked about racism being a public health epidemic. And she provided so many examples of students of her programs addressing racism in big and small ways. For example, the lady on the train who addressed a racist passenger and supported the traumatized family.

But she also gave examples for busy moms who might not be able to dedicate time to anti-racism work, to at least read a bedtime book with a Black central character.

Two quotes in her book resonated strongly with me: 

“You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time.” Angela Davis.

“Without inner change there can be no outer change. Without collective change, no change matters.” Kyodo Williams

We do need to shift from individual awareness to be “contagiously courageous”.

Nova, in particular, asks a very important question towards the end of this book. How did you come to read this book? What brought you here? It is important because it can help you think through your process of learning so that you can encourage others to start down a similar path.

It made me realize that the stories of women of color struggling everyday have led me to this place. These stories have been sad and inspirational. But they have also personified the experiences in such a way that we can’t say that’s just the system, or that isn’t happening around here. I am very grateful to the bravery and vulnerability of all the women who have shared their stories and I encourage your summer reading list to include: The Good Ally, The First The Few The Only, The Pink Elephant, Right Within, We live for the We, You are Your Best Thing.