A pathway to burnout
Is burnout inevitable if you keep having to re-prove your worth?
The first stage in Freudenberger and North’s 12 stages of burnout is the need to prove yourself.
I can relate to that as a recovering perfectionist but also has someone who was told as a kid that my achievements through hard work had less value than the natural talents of others. Thank goodness of Carol Dweck’s Mindset book to help me re-set that!
But what about the facts that show some groups keep having to re-prove their worth? Women of color may be presumed incompetent, mothers may be presumed uncommitted, leaders without stereotypical leadership traits are dismissed, those with disabilities may be poorly accommodated, LGBTQ persons can be marginalized and women’s potential is underestimated even if their performance history demonstrates otherwise.
What if the system itself reinforces these biases and creates concrete ceilings, glass ceilings, and maternal walls? Is the path to burnout inevitable?
Burnout stage 1: Need to prove yourself
Some groups have to keep re-proving their worth. And they can be penalized if they negotiate or self promote because they behaviors are not considered stereotypical of this group.
Burnout stage 2: Work harder
Some groups have to work multiple times harder to get to the same place. Their role is often overlooked. And their job is just one hat they wear each day.
Burnout stage 3: Suppress your needs
Some groups are seen as superheroes, caregivers or only there to serve others. If they don’t say yes and volunteer they are penalized but these housekeeping jobs do not further their career.
Emotions are considered a weakness yet they are a conduit to our needs. Without being allowed to show emotions and intuition our true needs are suppressed.
Burnout stage 4: Avoid conflict
Some groups have to avoid conflict because they risk being labelled aggressive or they are penalized for this counter-stereotypical behavior.
Burnout stage 5: Change your values
Value systems such as collaboration are not rewarded as much as assertiveness in leadership so to succeed you have to change your values. You can’t bring your whole self to work because it leads to additional bias.
And you keep feeling like the problem is you, since the system reminds you that you are somehow ‘wrong’ or you don’t belong.
Burnout stage 6: Denial
Across the board, there is denial of structural barriers, pay gaps and bias in society and workplaces. Denial is possible when the problems are not systematically assessed. And denial leads disadvantaged groups to blame themselves when the work conditions are the real problem.
So is burnout really an individual’s fault? Or is the system putting some groups on a path to burnout? What can you do?
If this is not you, acknowledge your privilege and power and think about the system that benefits you and burns out others. Become a trusted and vocal ally.
As a job candidate, look for employers who can demonstrate through their data that they hire and retain and promote all groups and value diversity.
If you do have to do more, do a little more, not 10 times more. Don’t fall for the over-prove yourself trap.
Realize that you are being penalized no matter what you do, so do the things that help you.
Don’t accept the false narrative that if you work harder you will succeed. You will, but at a cost to your mental and physical health, that often remains hidden to the company.
Know you are worthy today. You bring value today. If someone doesn’t believe in you today, they may not change their mind tomorrow. Don’t let them control your success.
Find an organization who plants a path of success not a path of burnout.
Have you been told you will get a promotion if you work harder? What was your response?
