Multi-level solutions and behavior change strategies
There are almost 5 million preventable cases of burnout in US working parents alone. Working moms can suffer from job burnout, caregiver burnout, parental burnout and emotional burnout (from racial trauma and daily microaggressions). Burnout can lead to health problems, including suicide. When people are burned out their brains revert to racial and gender stereotypes increasing bias. While reducing workload and self care can reduce burnout symptoms, burnout is caused by lack of reward, lack of autonomy and injustice. Working moms are paid less and promoted less than other groups: the maternal wall. They are considered distracted although they spend more time caring for their team’s well being, without reward. Working moms spend over 20 hours a week in unpaid labor in the home. Working moms feel guilty all the time and are expected to be superheroes by society. Dismantling the cause of burnout requires a multi-level approach to increase the number of female leaders across society, to create systems that reduce the structural inequalities created by bias, and to value well-being because it precedes productivity.
Individual level solutions:
A coach can give you perspective and permission to reduce your stress and workload at home and work. Ask your employer to subsidize a coach.
Learn to prioritize and express your needs and emotions. Let go of negative self beliefs and unrealistic expectations.
Take time away from your kids to recharge and find hobbies of your own.
Recognize your achievements and contributions and be curious and open to learning from your mistakes.
Do not default to saying yes, make conscious choices and learn how to set boundaries.
Let go of the shame and guilt and practice asking for help.
Family level solutions:
Use conscious parenting and positive discipline techniques that empower your kids to help find solutions, so you are not responsible for everything. Let go of micro-managing and share out the parenting and household tasks among family using the FairPlay Cards. Trust your partner or co-parent to help in their own way.
Find activities that the whole family can enjoy and role modeling having purpose not being a martyr.
Create a village of support and exchange services with others to provide for your family needs. Offer to give mothers a weekend break.
Company level solutions:
Subsidize childcare and provide paid leave as a default for all caregivers. Do not judge Dads for taking leave.
Subsidize coaches for personal and professional development and learn to coach others to be compassionate.
Ban NDAs to prevent harassment. Publish pay bands to limit negotiations. Allow job crafting.
Have an automatic promotion review process, and achievement logs not self selection or self appraisals.
Use diverse teams and a system of structured interviews and objective criteria for hiring and promotions decisions. Set targets for diversity and retention of diverse leadership at all levels. Put photos of female leaders on the walls where important decisions are made.
Measure and include team well being in key performance criteria and provide programs and support for well being. Do personal check ins.
Flexible schedules, paid time off, and times when whole company is not working. Meetings outside of school pick up times.
Teach inclusive collaboration and communication skills. Create safe spaces for mental health and inclusion discussions. Fund ERGs.
Evaluate DEI strategies and well-being programs using learning collaboratives. Have DEI and mental health teams not just one officer.
Societal level solutions:
Government supported childcare, paid leave, pre-K education, and healthcare. Properly paid caregivers and Child Tax Credits.
Increased venture capital for women. Increased number of female leaders in STEMM, government, media, and advertising. Role models and advertising for dads, husbands and sons as potentially full time caregivers. Male caregivers in politics.
Believe statistics and evidence of inequalities and struggles of working moms. Provide realistic expectations for role of mothers in society.
Ask about female leaders and DEI efforts in job interviews. Refuse to be the only woman at the table and sponsor women in leadership.
Behavior change techniques that work:
For individual change:
Effective goal setting, implementation plans, accountability partners and social support, environmental cues, behavioral cues and anchoring, role models and mastery, identity alignment, reinforcement and rewards, relapse prevention and problem-solving, and self-monitoring.
For organizational change:
Use learning collaboratives to evaluate programs through co-design, peer mentoring, data tracking, evaluation and learning cycles, and celebrations. Create a network for dissemination and sustainability.
Contact me if you want to hear my TEDx talk or find solutions for your company.
