S3 E55: Asking yourself some simple questions to prevent burnout in others
with Podcaster and Head of Inclusion Mita Mallick
Key Takeways
I was the funny looking dark skinned girl with a long, funny looking braid whose parents spoke funny English until it wasn't funny anymore. And I was bullied a lot, both verbally and physically by my peers growing up, they made it clear to me every day that I did not belong in that community. I always say inclusion found me. It's been my life's purpose. I just don't want anyone to ever feel like they don't belong, whether that's in playgrounds or in companies.
There's a lot going on in the world right now, and progress is slow. And yet I'm so inspired by all of the voices I get to hear I get to learn from, I get to be part of their community.
I never thought I would be mommy tracked. It wasn't something that I had considered and all of the everyday aggressions, the comments, how was your vacation when you had been out on leave for the first time, birthing a human being. And not knowing what that was gonna be like. I never had the courage, in the moment to say, who gave you permission to slow down my career? Who gave you permission to slow down my career? And so I never really anticipated how my identity as a mother would be received in the workplace. And so I have a lot of stories of where that's held me back. I do think now, now that I'm more senior, I feel like a responsibility to talk openly about being a mother who also wants to be a great mother and a great leader. And hopefully that allows others to do the same.
I was the failed teacher, the failed summer camp counselor, the chief entertainment officer, the referee, the cook, all of that while still trying to work. There's not a break when you're perpetually burned out. It was just like the match that had gone out, that had a flicker and would come back and then flicker off and on. That's how I felt. Because our entire support system had been ripped out from under us. When were any of us who were caregiving going to find time for ourselves? When we were isolated, we had no one to ask for help. It was just us.
I don't think many people understand the level of burnout in these DEI roles. For me, I identify as a brown woman, as a caregiver, identify in many other ways as well. And I am also fighting for issues on the behalf of the company and on behalf of colleagues that I am personally experiencing. And so that is what makes this job really sometimes heavy and makes it exhausting.
We can't change what we don't discuss and we need allies to be hearing these stories, anyone who's on a journey to be an ally is to understand what it means to have your work repeatedly stolen, how does it feel to be constantly mistaken for the other brown woman? What do you do when you see someone called or referred to as a diversity hire? All of these things are happening in our workspaces every single day. So what can we do differently? And that's what we hope to leave people with.
People are just no longer going to take working in toxic work environments. And so there's healing that has to happen when you're leaving. I also think what I'm seeing is downsizing, as a result of the pandemic resources being cut and people taking on more and more work, those of us who are still left on the team. And so I think burnout is happening on all sorts of levels. It's all of our jobs to care and check in on people. Why can't we be sharing that responsibility?
I've gotten the feedback you're being too nice. You're being too kind. What does that mean? I want to be kind. Why is that some sort of negative quality?
I don't show up to an organization, with a Cape and a magic wand to fix this. My team and I were a catalyst for change, but we can't do it alone. We need every single person to act like they're a chief diversity officer. So what I would ask of you is to think about as a leader, what are the ways in which you can be making impact in this space? How can you be helping reaching out to your team that runs DEI and says, what can I be personally doing to help you with this work? Have you thought about what your responsibility is to be an inclusive leader?
Mita: I have one life to live. We all do. So I wanna make as much impact as I can for as long as I'm here on this earth. And so that's how I try to lead my life. And yes, there are people who are gonna disagree with me and yes, there are some unkind comments and one of them might hurt for a day and then you bounce back again the next day right. People are entitled to their opinion and I'm entitled to my opinion. I'm not everyone's cup of tea on LinkedIn and that's fine. Like I said, you can scroll on by, or you could choose not to engage with me. That's fine as well. But I would love to be in a place someday where we don't have any chief diversity officer roles. I think we're a ways away from that. But imagine in a world where we didn't need the role, because everyone just acted like their own CDO
I think really the journey of an ally is to place the burden of education on yourself, and stop placing the burden on asking those who are you were trying to show up for, to educate you. So I think for allies it's beyond a journey to learn, build empathy for an experience that's not your own, but start to really focus on building those multicultural bridges. I always like to ask leaders this question how do you spend your time on the weekends? Who are your neighbors? Where do you do your grocery shopping? What do you do in the evenings? And when you have a life decision or something you wanna celebrate? Who are the five people who you'll call that aren't a part of your family? And if they all look like you act like you and think like you, then let's be honest that we're self-segregating. And so part of doing this work is building meaningful relationships with people who aren't in your community. So how can I expect you to show up at work and act differently and think differently if you aren't doing this work at home in your personal relationships, that's where it starts.
I think find your outlet of whatever it is that provides you. I'm in a mission this year to focus on things that spark joy in my life. in the time I have, right. That's outside of work and outside of personal obligations find something that sparks joy for you so that you can fill yourself up so that you can be there for the people who matter the most in your life to you.
Bio
Mita Mallick is a corporate change-maker with a track record of transforming businesses. She gives innovative ideas a voice and serves customers and communities with purpose. She is currently the Head of Inclusion, Equity and Impact at Carta. She was formerly the Head of Inclusion and Cross Cultural Marketing at Unilever. She has had an extensive career as a marketer in the beauty and consumer product goods space. Mallick is a LinkedIn Top Voice, a contributor for Entrepreneur, Harvard Business Review, Adweek and Fast Company.
She is also the cohost of the recently launched The Brown Table Talk Podcast, part of the LinkedIn Podcast Network. On the Brown Table Talk, Mita and Dee Marshall share stories and tips on how to help Women of Color win at work, and advice for allies on how they can show up.
Links to Additional Resources
