Why women’s empowerment needs the support of system change
Pay Up: The future of women at work (and Why It’s Different Than You Think) by Reshma Saujani
I was honored to receive a digital pre-copy of Pay Up: The future of women at work (and Why It’s Different Than You Think) by Reshma Saujani and to be part of her book launch team through our conversation on Overcoming Working Mom Burnout. Reshma speaks about her own burnout on a Lego brick on the bedroom floor but also describes how having it all means doing it all. One of my favorite quotes was:
“Now, not only did we have to present ourselves at work as unencumbered, relentlessly committed workers, we also had to raise perfectly organic-fed, trilingual, karate-kicking, ballet-twirling, socially confident children—and smile happily for Instagram posts while doing it.”
I read this inspiring book on my flight from LAX to Toronto, Canada to deliver my TEDx talk on burnout. I had a client publication that I needed to work on, but I was nervous about the talk and wanted to distract myself with something that might support my perspective and that would be motivating. It was the perfect partner to this journey. I came to many of the same conclusions as Reshma based on my public health scientific perspective and my lived experience working within a male dominated medical school: we need systems change to support moms, we need a paradigm shift so that all women’s work is valued equally.
Reshma transitioned from her efforts to gain a seat in congress to leading Girls Who Code to empower women in tech. This experience taught her that a “rah rah” to promote women in tech failed because the playing field was not equal, and that hard work alone could not change the status quo. Pay Up is about the great resignation of moms from the workforce during Covid and how we will not return to work unless conditions become more equal through policy changes at the government level to support policy and program changes in workplaces and mothers’ lives: we need both equal pay at work and in the home. Until those in power Pay Up, we won’t come back. This perspective of receiving pay for the work we do at home that is a central part of Reshma’s argument led me to alter a line in my TED talk at the 11th hour from we need pay equity at work to support equity in the home to - we need pay equity at work and in the home.
There is so much chicken and egg in this challenge. I believe Reshma was right on her original path; we need more women in politics and tech leadership to change the system, but to get more women in government and business leadership we need to change the system. Her calls to action are laid out clearly in the Marshall Plan for Moms. All moms know we need a plan if we want to get anything done in our busy lives. And I loved Reshma’s historic context for the name and including the history behind moms’ rights at home and work in her book.
I had read Gail Collins’ book “No Stopping Us Now” which reviewed many of the individual rights of women, but Reshma also included the historical context for family rights and how legislation to support childcare efforts were sidelined.
To continue the playing field analogy: women are playing on a field that is uphill. We work our hardest to play the first half in this uphill battle, to stay in the game, knowing that at half-time we will switch ends and have an easier second half. But at half time, the men refuse to change ends and refuse to admit they have had the easier first half. When women work hard to reach the table we are burned out and often alone, making the second half another uphill battle.
One of the problems is that women themselves do not want to admit the systems are working against them because then they feel like victims. They want to feel empowered that they can work hard and succeed against the odds. But this framework not only means the status quo is perpetuated it also leaves women blaming themselves when they do fail. Reshma discovered hard work is not enough.
It still feels like we have a long way to go because both women and men are denying there are any problems with the status quo. And when the disadvantages are pointed out, here is the response Monica Hesse of the Washington Post, who was quoted in the book, reports:
“And because every policy-based attempt to change [that] is met by telling women to buck up, drink a glass of rosé and download the Calm app. Screw that.”
Reshma has 9 strategies she outlines with tips for what women can do and employer playbooks for what they need to change:
Give women control over their schedules
Support women with childcare
Own your role in shaping gender dynamics are home
Give parents paid time off for illness
Root out the motherhood penalty
Don’t rush mothers back to work before they are ready
Implement strong re-entry strategies
Prioritize women’s health
Advocate for mother’s publicly
Through her plan, Reshma hopes:
“We can prioritize women’s mental health and secure the well-being—dare I even say existence—of the next generation.”
This is not over dramatic by any means, as Reshma points out many young women are looking at our lives and declaring they don’t want any part of it. Maybe instead of following the Icelandic women who protested equal pay by not working for a day, we should follow the Greek women who withheld sex to end the Peloponnesian War. I am not convinced that the Great Resignation will persuade men that they need to change the playing field at work, so maybe we need to remind them that we longer agree to play in the bedroom (I know, so many ways this can backfire…). But if they want kids, maybe they have to Pay Up first.
Reshma recently posted about this very concept. A man reported that his partner, who had her own career, wanted to be paid during maternity leave. There was outrage on social media over this, which again points to women’s needs being undermined and undervalued. Given that data shows mothers face the maternal wall and the motherhood penalty ie. we are paid and promoted less, it is not only during leave that compensation should be considered. And although LinkedIn is working to support career gaps, Prof Joseph Fuller finds AI hiring systems exclude those with career gaps. The long term loss of income is real. While the transactional nature of this is uncomfortable, when a Dad negotiates a higher salary to support his family are we uncomfortable? When a women negotiates, research again shows we are penalized. Until the government pays more to support childcare and raising children, and until companies break the bias of promotions and pay, a woman finding her own solution is empowering. Perhaps this Dad could be proud that the mother of his children is role modeling how to boldly ask for what you need.
Reshma’s book and plan aims to provide women the facts, voice, courage and baseline energy to advocate for these rights at home and at work. It’s an encouraging call to action and a well-thought-out plan. There are also science-based behavior change strategies that moms can employ to support their efforts which I share in my bi-weekly behavior guides, but there are also implementation science frameworks that can help us identify facilitators and barriers and create conditions that support adoption of innovations
While the list of achievements for 2021 for the Marshall Plan for Moms is outstanding, my fear is still that the plan will not be adopted and implemented widely because the status quo still advantages the dominant group. While, like Reshma, I also focus on mothers, due to the unique experiences of burnout that they endure and due to the specific structural inequalities at work and in society that cause their burnout, I think efforts to support paid leave have shown the importance of advocating for all caregivers not just parents. I also think that we may have less resistance if male caregivers become political leaders and make the changes from the inside.
Pay Up is an excellent road map for anyone wanting to support families and caregivers more.
